A three day Snot-a-thon is worth £50

My father in law once said that the common cold typically lasts three days. So, going by that theory I should be fine by tomorrow. Somehow, I don't see it happening. When someone else has a cold and has the downright audacity to complain about it I do feel somewhat disgruntled, "it's a cold for crying out loud" I inwardly shriek to no-one in particular.

Totally different ball game when it's me though. I turn into a mess, a red nosed dribbly mess to be more precise. I wail and I moan about it like it's some kind of big deal. I mean, it's not like I have got swine flu is it? Or have I? Oh God.

My mum told me many years ago the difference between having a common cold and having flu is money. Imagine that there is a fifty pound note 10 metres away from your sick bed. It's all yours if you prize yourself out of bed and collect it. If you genuinely have flu, the money will sit there and taunt you like a whore in church as you'll be too poorly and just plain knackered to go and get it. Alternatively, should you manage to get up to collect the goods you are lucky enough to be inflicted with the common cold.

I could definitely tear myself out of bed for fifty quid so hopefully I'll be fine by tomorrow.