Small Hats

December 19: Healing.

2010-12-19T08:41:00.006Z

December 19: Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

My failed attempt at "being healed" this year involved counseling. This is an experience I have succeeded in deliberately avoiding for the last 8 years. So, why choose 2010? Well, the reasons were two fold. Although my past isn't directly affecting me in the here and now anymore I know someday it will and it is likely to be when I have a family of my own. It is a car crash waiting to happen or at least a spectacular case of history repeating itself. The second of the two reasons is that due to my change in job I was offered half a dozen free sessions on the NHS. Counseling is expensive so this seemed an excellent incentive but this also meant that I was unable to choose my confidante. As it turns out he was OK. OK is the best word I inarticulately have for him. I have no comparison to draw upon - but if I were paying for the sessions I don't see myself cherry picking this particular chap.

I entered this process with visions of emerging from sessions as a teary eyed, emotional wreck. I didn't. Partly because it was in working hours and I knew I had to go back and face my friends and my colleagues (who didn't know where I had been) but largely because I never found the balls to say the things that I actually wanted and needed to say. I skirted around subjects hoping that he would pick up on my very faint vibes and second guess me. In effect I wanted him to do the work for me and we all know that's not how it works. However, skirting around the main subject opened a few more doors and clarified some of the other life dramas that have shaped my life and upbringing but has also opened another can of worms.

Is 2011 the time to address all these issues?

Maybe it is the time to at least make a start but this time I think I'll choose who I speak to about it.

December 16: Friendship

2010-12-16T08:17:00.006Z

December 16: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

Late last year my loveliest best mate totally pulled me up for being an arse and she wasn't wrong. This year I have tried to be less of an arse - I haven't always been successful in my quest but I'm giving it a fairly good go.

A sudden burst maybe but it was a long time coming.

December 15: 5 minutes.

2010-12-15T07:57:00.005Z

December 15: 5 minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

In no particular order:

Clare's wedding
Jamie's wedding
Being offered my job
Kris' promotion
Seeing a three week old puppy become a nine month old joyful nightmare
Proper snow
Making a photo album for my Mum's 60th and being reminded of long forgotten lovely times
Mum reminding me last weekend of when my friend Clare "ran away from home" and came all the way to my house aged 13
The week in August where we took the time to truly appreciate the awesome city we live in
Listening to Dave Gorman podcasts on thoroughly miserable Monday mornings whilst attempting to suppress "the giggles"
Passing my pharmacology module
Discovering just how much I adore hummus & Honeydew lager
Going a whole year with having no more than "the ends" taken off my hair
On the overground at Acton Town with Dirty Den
Reading the Time Travellers Wife
Watching Tim Minchin and feeling very vocabularily stunted but giggling like a tit

I think I may have marginally exceeded my allotted five minutes.

December 13: Action

2010-12-13T08:25:00.004Z

December 13. Action. When it comes to aspirations, its not about ideas. It's about making ideas happen. What's your next step?

Mmmmm...making stuff happen. Not as easy as it sounds is it? At least not for me.

Recently, I attended a learning and development course through work - one of the leadership and management style jobbies - and we were fully informed by a middle aged lady with purple hair that there are basically two types of people in this world. Those that "do" and those that "think". There were 12 of us in the group and she asked us to go with our gut feeling and raise our hands to which ever we thought more appropriate:

"Right then, who feels that they are a "do-er"?

9 hands raised, mine included.

"That means we only have one thinker then. I want you to get into two groups - the do-ers in one group and the thinkers in another"

I slowly raise my hand "um....I've thought about it and I'd like to change my mind, I think I'm a thinker"

I think this illustrates my point. Actions may well speak greater than words but at least think through all the possible consequences, think a bit more and then don't do anything about it.

December 12. Body Integration.

2010-12-12T08:52:00.004Z

December 12: Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

Erm...is that the doorbell?

December 10: Wisdom

2010-12-10T10:57:00.010Z

December 10. Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

Gut instinct is a wonderful tool at everyones disposal. In my experience it is usually pretty accurate, so when I was having thoughts a year or so ago that it was time to move on in my work I knew it was time to hence forth with the job search. A few were quite tasty but not really ringing any bells so I lurked on the sidelines for a while waiting for some other poor schmuck to drop out of a fabulously well paid and interesting position for me to prepare to invade. As it turns out, no schmucks were harmed in my move as a newly created position made itself glaringly available to me in an institution close to my heart but unfortunately not too close to my home.

Calls were made, meetings were set up, applications were written, interviews were attended and after 6 months of boring HR related shite I started my shiny new post. Have been there 6 months now. Some days it's hard. Really hard. But I am challenged and excited at the prospect of my future here and I can thank my gut for that - not only for making me realise it was time to move on but for helping me make the right choice.....as a few wrong-uns were narrowly avoided. However, the fabulously well paid bit didn't happen but you can't win 'em all!

December 9. Party.

2010-12-10T10:57:00.009Z

December 9. Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

The rare but always welcome "fancy a pint after work?" gatherings always turn out for the best for me - there was one of particular note in Chelsea all but a few weeks ago. It was my first social outing with the girls I work with and given that we all spend our days working in the not so glamorous but downright formidable world of cancer it is to be expected for some steam to be let off. Although only mildly tiddly I think we were all fuelled much by our excitement to be away from the sterile and confined office environment and able to have a good old fashioned chin-wag. Much deep fried food and beer also helped to kick things off but most of all I just remember laughing. And laughing. And laughing.

Jeez, it's good to laugh.

December 8: Beautifully different.

2010-12-08T22:26:00.003Z

December 8: Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful.

I confess, I can't take this one seriously. This to me is cheesier than off cheese on a really hot day in cheese-ville. Eeeeeeewwwww.

December 7: Community

2010-12-07T08:08:00.003Z

December 7. Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

OK, OK. Yes, this is yet another dog related post but in actual fact as soon as you tread the boards of the local field with mutt in tow you are instantaneously welcomed into a canine-tastic community. It's weird how dog owners just talk to each other, with no judgement and no agenda, particularly in the not-so-talky London.

2011 - well who knows. I don't that is for sure.

December 6: Make.

2010-12-06T08:15:00.003Z

December 6. Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

The most recent of my "makings" have been of the baking variety and I have to say I am 100% hooked. In the last month alone I have created chocolate truffles, carrot cakes, shortbread, chocolate dipped vanilla biscuits and cupcakes. There is something strangely alluring about baking but yet I can't quite put my finger on what makes it so. I can't cook and don't claim to even enjoy it so it seems strange to me that something so similar has me so enthralled.

I suppose if you go deep into the psychology of it, it might be linked to my baking with my mum as a kid (but no cooking) but to be honest I can't be bothered to think about it all that much.

December 5: Let go.

2010-12-05T10:15:00.005Z

December 5. Let go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

Myself. I have, without fail, let go of myself in the frankest sense of the word. I have systematically gained back the two stone I lost a couple of years ago but, fear not my fat fighting compadres, I have enlisted the aid of "Slimming World" in an effort to regain my self esteem.

Mmmmm..... we'll see how that ones pans out.

December 4: Wonder.

2010-12-04T18:14:00.008Z

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

A sense of wonder. Wonder? I don't even know really what that means. The most suitable offering from Dictionary.com suggests: "the emotion excited by what is strange and surprising; a feeling of surprised or puzzled interest, sometimes tinged with admiration".

Mmmmm. The pained, cynical and sarcastic side to me wants to 'guffaw' and 'harrumph' at the very thought of something as pansy as 'cultivating a sense of wonder'. However, having given this notion a little thought I feel, once again, inspired. I work in central London and am fortunate enough to have a variety of commuter routes available to me, one of which involves a 2 1/2 mile walk to the nearest overground train station. Weather and mood permitting I undertake the trekk on an almost regular basis for two main reasons. The first, as mentioned in a previous post is being "too busy" to get off my arse and go to the gym and so consider this to be a valid form of exercise, the second is where the wonder comes in - although completely uncultivated by myself.

The route takes me through the winding streets of fashionista Chelsea, passing magnificently expensive flats and houses to the equally splendid Battersea crossing the Thames via the Albert Bridge. On this bridge, I often pause, if only fleetingly, caught betwixt London's north and south - potentially the most peaceful part of the inner city, and look out. Although not quite the pearlescent blue green one sees when imaginging relaxing, lapping water, the river none the less licks the banks of the Thames with gentle ease which somehow instils a sense of calm. Welcome to my sense of wonder.

December 3: Moment.

2010-12-04T18:13:00.009Z

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

Sheesh, this ain't easy.

I was reminded of a wonderful 2010 moment when flicking through some photo's and I warn you now, it'll have hard nosed offenders reaching for their vomit bowls. It was the moment we went to see a litter of puppies with a view to taking one of the little blighters home a few weeks later.

This is what we saw.

Smell was basically that of, well, dogs, to be quite frank.

Aside from a little snuffling from her ladyship and a few poignant squeaks

she was pretty much silent....the noise was to come a few weeks later!

I can't write about this with too much feeling, it would ruin my street cred but suffice to say the moment will last with me for a long time to come.

December 2: Writing.

2010-12-04T17:22:00.004Z

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

This I find a very difficult question to answer. Not writing every day certainly contributes to not writing. The fact of the matter is, life is busy. Is that an excuse? Well, yes and no. I suspect that my days are no more full than the average twenty something in 2010 but it is what we choose to do with that time that matters. I often choose not go to the gym but to watch EastEnders and then would placate myself with an excuse of being too busy to exercise when in fact, that time was more than available to me, I just chose to do something I found more favorable with it. And so it is with writing.

The factor to eliminate is the excuses.....I can't make any promises.

December 1: One Word.

2010-12-04T16:34:00.005Z

December 1 - One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

It's not easy to sum up the best part of a year in one word, but the most appropriate that springs to mind is Nurture. 2010 thus far has been a shipshape year for me and my dearest, although I have friends who would certainly say otherwise for there have been deaths, divorces and health scares in their lives. Fortunately, I have been devoid of such dramas and with a bit of luck and the wind blowing in the right direction, 2011 will be synonymous with the last.

The reasons I choose nurture as my encapsulating word are mainly two fold. The first being the welcome addition of the latest family member, a golden cocker spaniel puppy by the name of Bonny. The very presence of a young life, albeit canine, with complete dependency on you, maybe sufficient explanation for my chosen word. However, this responsibility extends to more than just feeding, training, walking and fussing a very cute puppy. It also nurtures something within oneself. A sense of purpose. A sense of responsibility. A sense of fear. A sense of guilt. A sense of acute frustration. A sense of joy. I have learnt a lot about myself over the last few months, admittedly not all these traits honorable - but at least I am better equipped to change them for the better with the knowledge of their existence.

The second reason I chose this particular word was due to my career development in 2010. I undertook employment with a well established cancer hospital and once again I am very much of the self development band wagon. I am learning and growing. I am nurturing myself. I am also determined not become a precious, magniloquent arse.

It's difficult to produce a word that I would like to capture the coming year without sounding twee - happy, successful, wealthy all seem a little too obvious. If I can come to the end of 2011 and be able to honestly and freely exercise the term peaceful I would hope to be more than grateful.

Lordy Lordy Lordy Lordingtons

2010-12-04T15:26:00.009Z

Well Bonjour.

It is tempting to begin with an abhorrent tirade of self-flagellation with regards to the length of time passed since my last post and indulge in the "aren't I quite the lazy oaf blahdeblahdeblah"....but I shall not. I shall spare your eyes the unnecessary anguish.

However, I have felt inspired of late to make a return to the blogging of blogdomness. This evocation stems from two main sources, the first of which is a blog that I have followed for many years, that of the hilarious, down to earth and just plain fabulous DietGirl. Her most recent post featured a project called Reverb 10. The idea being that every day throughout December you are prompted to reflect on the year gone by and manifest in next. I love to write, I find it very cathartic but I often find myself dry and devoid of creative inspiration so what better way to get back into the literary saddle than by being handed cherry picked daily ideas. You never know I might learn something about myself too.

The second causal factor is a man who needs no introduction other than his name is Stephen Fry. I had purchased the "Fry Chronicles" as an audio book in which I have been absorbing myself everyday for the last week. A very thoughtful autobiography recalling his years at Cambridge and rise into comedy stardom of the 80's, made all the more charming to listen to the great man himself reading it aloud. It certainly makes better use of the 'dead' commuting time to and from work than staring blankly into the eyes of fellow commuters who seem to have lost their souls years ago. Anyway, yes, back to my point. Mr Fry encouraged me to get back and hide behind the pseudonym Small Hats and write.

So, if you don't like it, blame him.

Slack to the max

2010-03-07T17:28:00.010Z

Ay Carumba! It's been a stupendously long time since I have done this bloggy business.

However, I feel I have a very valid reason and that reason is called 'pharma(fecking)cology'. I am huffing and puffing my way through this MSc module, it is sapping me of not only my time but also of my patience. It's driving me insania. So much so, that I requested an extension from the powers that be up in Newcastle, which they kindly granted. I now have until 23d April to write four assignments on the mechanisms of action and resistance of the following classes of chemotherapy agents: alkylating agents (and platinum drugs), antimetabolites, antimicrotubule and topoisomerase I and II poisons. Fantastic. I digress before the air turns blue....

My last post was before Christmas. Now it is March. Jeez Louise. So, what has happened since? Here's the countdown pop pickers:

1. Christmas - lovely jubbly. Spent in the new house and a real effort made all round. I even surprised myself by how thoroughly festive I became throwing tinsel around and sending cards. We even cooked a proper Christmas dinner!

2. New Year. Also spent at home but with friends. Much fun had by all with the exception of the hair catching on fire incident and then subsequent tears.

3. Kris' birthday. Consisted of an Al Jazeera football cake, balloons, banners and a family meal in the Indian restaurant at the top of the road. Ruddy marvellous.

4. Passing two more modules for my MSc. Pathology and Imaging are now done and dusted thankyouverymuch.

5. The purchase of a new car. It's a pretty darn groovy black Clio. I've stopped naming cars, it's too traumatic when they are stolen or vandalised. Also, I'm 27 years old, it's just time to stop.

6. I have become addicted to Scrabble on the iPhone. That's quite sad.

7. I have given up chocolate, sweets, biscuits, pastries, desserts and anything else that tastes scrummy for Lent. It's been 2 1/2 weeks and it's going surprisingly well. I am sticking to this much, much better than I did the fruit and veg pledge but I think it might be because I am doing this in conjunction with colleague at work and I reeeeeally don't want to have to admit defeat. I am of no religious persuasion but I am due to shop with a 'bride to be' for my 'bridesmaid to be' dress and wanted to drop a few pounds. However, having replaced the sweet stuff with jam on toast and cheesy pasta bake it's unlikely I will lose anything other than my teeth and self confidence.

8. By far the most important of all.....Stacey killed Archie. Doof doof doof doof doof........

I have very little to say of any use at present but I hope to be less whingey and more pro active the next time I post. Please note, I said 'hope', not 'promise'.

Bruises and carrot soup

2009-12-09T21:22:00.002Z

Don't tell anyone but I'm rather enjoying the fruits of my...er....fruit and veg pledge. If you don't know what I am raving about - check out this post.

So far, so very good, thanks to a buy one, get one free offer on seasonal veg, a generous splash of extra virgin olive oil and a fabulously ferocious electric oven. Feeling smug and a tad conceited I checked out the hundred days website and have been pleasantly surprised at the efforts of others. In turn, this has ultimately made me feel a bit silly. In order to make themselves better people they have opted to make others smile, or write, or take awesome photographs. It's only day nine though, I'm not convinced that they can all keep up their good doings until March. I'm not even sure I can.

So, what else has happened today? Well, I slipped in the shower this morning and have a ruddy great bruise on my thigh to show for it. It chuffin' hurts but yet I keep poking at it. I know not why and I made my own carrot soup and scored 90% on my interim MSc 'developments in diagnostic imaging in oncology' test.

Yaaay.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.....

2009-12-04T22:25:00.003Z

I've been right 'Moby Dick' this week. A fair case of gastroenteritis ensued on Sunday night causing much biological outflow. Ick.

Ergo, I have so far been thwarted in my five a day pledge given that I have been too scared to eat anything and the little that I have ingested has consisted only of dry toast and eggs.

Fibre is the last thing I need in abundance right now. I am feeling much better today though and have managed two out of my necessary five. A trip to the local supermarket is due tomorrow so I'll stock up on a bounty of the good stuff.

Sorry peeps, on this occasion, biology won out.

5 a day to make me a better person

2009-11-29T12:58:00.013Z

In this post of not too old, I pledged to eat the recommended five portions of fruit and vegetables a day for a hundred days in a bid to make me a better person, kicking off on 1st December.

Now, I am fully aware that this isn't a completely selfless act. In fact, it couldn't be more selfish as I am effectively, the only person to gain from this task but ultimately that's OK, as it makes me a better person. A healthier, happier person with clearer skin and more vitality. Or so the advertising would have me believe.

Now what has struck me since making this bold statement of mine is that, actually, I am not completely clear on what really constitutes a portion of fruit or veg.

Sounds ridiculous doesn't it? I mean, I have an apple a day at work and often a banana. I usually have some kind of vegetables with dinner, albeit frozen or salad. Am I already eating the required amount? I also eat fruit yoghurts, do they count? It says it has real fruit in it so it must do. Or does it? Can I eat nuts and seeds? Aaaaaaarrrrggghhhh!

In light of this confusion, I have executed some much needed research, thanks to 5aday.nhs.uk, I have a clearer idea.

O.K, so what counts?

Fresh, frozen, chilled, canned, 100% juice and smoothies all count, as do dried fruit and vegetables

Fruit and vegetables don't have to be eaten on their own to count. You can also include any vegetables found in soups, stews, sandwiches and other dishes

Fruit and vegetables contained in convenience foods like ready meals, pasta sauces, soups and puddings, also contribute to your 5 A DAY. However, these ready-made foods can be high in salt, sugar and fat, which should only ever be eaten in moderation, so it's important to check the nutrition information on the labels and packaging

Dietary supplements like vitamins and minerals do not count towards 5 A DAY. This is because many dietary supplements don't have the same nutritional benefits as fruit and vegetables

Potatoes and other related vegetables such as yams and cassava do not count. This is because they are classified as starchy food

What's a cassava I hear you cry? No idea. However, I am pleased to learn now that potatoes don't count otherwise I would have eaten a jacket potato smugly every day for a hundred days only to be left feeling cheated and defunct later on.

I also kind of figured that vitamin supplements don't count - it somewhat defeats the object of the exercise I feel. Duh, idiot hole.

There's a plethora of information on this website as to what actually constitutes a portion size. Now we're getting to the good shizzle. I was going to copy and paste the lengthy tables describing every available fruit and vegetable in fresh, dried, frozen and tinned forms but opted for this handy synopsis instead. I say synopsis, it's still pretty lengthy....

Fresh fruit:

Small-sized fruit: 2 or more, for example 2 plums, 2 satsumas, 3 apricots, 2 kiwi fruit, 7 strawberries, 14 cherries, 6 lychees
Medium-sized fruit: 1 medium fruit, such as 1 apple, banana, pear, orange, nectarine, or 1 sharon fruit
Large fruits: half a grapefruit, 1 slice of papaya, 1 slice of melon (2-inch slice), 1 large slice of pineapple, 2 slices of mango (2-inch slices)

Dried fruit:

1 tablespoon of raisins, currants, sultanas, 1 tablespoon of mixed fruit, 2 figs, 3 prunes, 1 handful of banana chips

Tinned fruit:

Roughly the same quantity of fruit that you would eat as a fresh portion: 2 pear or peach halves, 6 apricot halves, 8 segments of tinned grapefruit

Juices:

A glass (150ml) of 100% juice (fruit or vegetable juice or smoothie) counts as 1 portion, but you can only count juice as 1 portion per day, however much you drink. This is mainly because it contains very little fibre. Also, the juicing process 'squashes' all the natural sugars out of the cells that normally contain them, which can be harmful for teeth - especailly if you drink a lot of it in between meals

Quick guide to vegetable portions:

Green vegetables:

2 broccoli spears, 8 cauliflower florets, 4 heaped tablespoons of kale, spring greens or green beans

Cooked vegetables:

3 heaped tablespoons of cooked vegetables such as carrots, peas or sweetcorn

Salad vegetables:

3 sticks of celery, 2 inch piece of cucumber, 1 medium tomato, 7 cherry tomatoes

Tinned and frozen vegetables:

Roughly the same quantity as you would eat as a fresh portion. For example, 3 heaped tablespoons of tinned or frozen carrots, peas or sweetcorn

Pulses and beans:

3 heaped tablespoons of baked beans, haricot beans, kidney beans, cannelloni beans, butter beans or chick peas. Remember that beans and pulses do count, but only as 1 of the 5 portions, no matter how much you eat

Potatoes and other related root vegetables:

Because they are considered a 'starchy' food, potatoes don't count towards your 5 A DAY. (Starchy foods are foods like potatoes, rice, pasta and bread.) We’re not suggesting you don’t eat them, but they should form the ‘starchy carbohydrate’ part of your meal

Wish me luck peeps. I have even downloaded the handy wall chart to document my progress and intend to blog at least weekly with my progress.

I want to be somebody else.

2009-11-22T18:59:00.005Z

I laughed my lardy old arse off when I read this entry by Diet Girl for no reason other than I completely identified with it.

As a teen, I too longed to be someone other than myself although I think I

may have been punching waaay above my weight with my obsession. I wasn't a Baby Sitters Club fan but my equivalent was Sweet Valley High. The books and then the TV series about teenage twin girls - one studious and caring, the other wreckless and flirtatious but both ridiculously beautiful and rich living in an idyllic sounding town called Sweet Valley.

I would swing wildly between longing to be brave and confident like Jessica or quiet and clever like Elizabeth. In the end it didn't matter because at the time I thought I wasn't beautiful or clever and never would be.

What I actually failed to realise then was, I was a perfectly normal teenage girl. I wish I knew that then, it would have saved a lot of angst.

One Hundred Days To Make Me A Better Person

2009-11-19T09:06:00.006Z

Listeners of the Absolute Radio Dave Gorman podcast may recall a challenge set by comedienne Josie Long called One Hundred Days to Make Me a Better Person (phee-eeew, that was links a plenty).

If you don't know what I am blathering on about then allow me to briefly explain: the idea is to pledge to do one thing every day for 100 days in a bid to improve yourself, starting on 1st December 2009. You should register to the website (linked above), make your pledge and document your updates by any means necessary.

I think this is a meritorious idea and wholeheartedly want to join in with the other boys and girls. However, I appreciate that this is something that you are promising to do every day for a little over 3 months and therefore requires a smattering of thought. Seeking inspiration I perused the pledges made thus far and found not only mild amusement but also some very sweet people:

LiterallyTs

ar will correct misuse of the word "Literally" - it shall only be used correctly worldwide after March 10.

tombedwell will say hello to a complete stranger and record how each person reacts.

oh_pollo will Will write a page a day. Page size may vary.

Neil Deadly will Save a pound and give £100 to charity in March.

Now, I am feeling quite bereft of inspiration but there are two trains of thought I will pursue over the next few days.

The first being the fact that my diet, in terms of nutritional value, has some what taken a nose dive over recent months so I could pledge to actually eat my five day (of fruit and veg obviously) for the next 100 days (and hopefully beyond) but surely that's something I should be doing anyway?

*hangs head in shame*

The second is that I could ensure that I listen to a podcast everyday. Since my late discovery of the wondrous podcast (as discussed in this post) I have enjoyed them less frequently than I would like and seeing as it was a podcast that led me to this discovery maybe that would be most apt.

I have a few days to chew over this so I shall return, hopefully with some more thoughts.

One Woman Muffin Making Machine

2009-11-12T17:28:00.006Z

I have a new compulsion in the form of baking round, yeast - leavened bread AKA the muffin. It has been what you might call an evolutionary process.

It all started with a quest to find a healthy, wholesome muffin recipe for breakfasts on the move. Something wholemealey and filling and stuffed with blueberries, cranberries and anything else ending in 'erries. I hit upon a recipe with no butter or sugar but consisted of honey and natural yoghurt for thickening and sweetening. Tried it in cupcake cases and a bun tin.

Tasted OK if not a little dry but ultimately disastrous in form.

Bought some proper muffin cases and faired better.

Bought a heavy gauge muffin tin. Bingo bango.

Changed the recipe to chocolate chips with butter, sugar, baking powder and white flour. Vastly more unhealthy but I am now the world's best girlfriend and a hit with people I've never met at my better half's place of work.

I'm now an addict.

*Image nabbed from NatalieDee.com*

Isn't man an amazing animal?

2009-11-10T21:41:00.002Z

As I was perusing the world wide web, I stumbled across this and I quite liked it;

Isn’t man an amazing animal?

He kills wildlife by the millions in order to protect his domestic animals and their feed. Then he kills domestic animals by the billions and eats them. This in turn kills man by the billions, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative – and fatal – health conditions like heart disease, kidney disease and cancer. So then man tortures and kills millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases.

Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals. Meanwhile, some people are dying of sad laughter at the absurdity of man, who kills so easily and so violently, and once a year sends out cards praying for “Peace on Earth.”

Preface from Old MacDonald’s Factory Farm by C. David Coates

Bewildered time traveller

2009-11-02T17:19:00.010Z

Eeeeeek! It's November already. What the...? There's a theme recurring here. I've just realised that I do this at the beginning of every month. Crumbs.

Halloween? Check.

Guy Fawkes Night? Fast approaching.

Christmas? Wait a cotton pickin' minute it's only November...

Need to get my Christmas mojo on - am determined that this year I won't be a big ol' bah-humbug. I'm gonna reeeeally try, I promise. Therefore, I am not going to complain that the Christmas lights are being switched on too early in London or that I am feeling pressured to look fabulous for the annual work Christmas bash.

Seeeeee *pointy finger*. I'm embracing it with all the gusto I can musto.

*Image above nabbed from www.toothpastefordinner.com*

Wisdom is that little piece of knowledge that helps you

2009-10-28T18:14:00.007Z

I confess that I am what you might call a philistine. By this I don't mean that I am a native or inhabitant of ancient Philistia (somebody's been using wiki). Oh no. I mean philistine in the complete ignorant sense. I don't appreciate the finer arts and I undervalue spirituality and beauty and I tend to deride those that do.

So, whilst listening to formerly ginger Chris Evans on a moderately lengthy car journey, I was unimpressed to learn that a philosopher was appearing on his drive time show.

OK, so lets start from the beginning. I am an ignoramous. My only experience of philosophy was when a fellow student in my A Level Physics class announced he was going to study the subject at university and the teacher (who is actually my real life superhero), guffawed. Ergo, in my head, it must be a grand ol' pile o'shite. So, for the last 10 years I've not known what it is or what it means but I do know I don't like it based on an expulsion of air through my former physics teachers nasal canals.

Now, that's ridiculous. I've since done some research and this is the dictionary.com definition:

phi⋅los⋅o⋅phy

[fi-los-uh-fee]

–noun, plural -phies.

1.	the rational investigation of the truths and principles of being, knowledge, or conduct.

2.	any of the three branches, namely natural philosophy, moral philosophy, and metaphysical philosophy, that are accepted as composing this study.

3.	a system of philosophical doctrine: the philosophy of Spinoza.

4.	the critical study of the basic principles and concepts of a particular branch of knowledge, esp. with a view to improving or reconstituting them: the philosophy of science.

5.	a system of principles for guidance in practical affairs.

6.	a philosophical attitude, as one of composure and calm in the presence of troubles or annoyances.

Clearly there's a lot more to it than the definition above. There's also oodles of history and texts and dudes who are now immortalised in stone.

So, back to the plot. The philosopher on Christophe Lammy Pie's show was a guy called Alain De Botton. Sounds pretentious huh? Well, it did to my tiny mind. He's not, he's just Swiss. I didn't really know what to expect but a reasonable guy who seemed of sound mind and was quite good fun was not on my agenda.

Alain's words regarding philopsophy?

"Learning to be wise about things",

"Responding to situations with a certain amount of calm"

"Philosophy is about a commitment to thinking through problems".

None of this is scary or pretentious. It's just makes good sense. More sense than dictionary.com's version might I add. I could continue to quote him but that's silly and I am supposed to be getting on with other things.

His parting words on the show? "The thing we waste most of is our lives"

He was brilliant and for the record, completely unpretentious. I think there might be some cracks showing in my completely closed mind. An expanse is nigh.

I have since listened twice to this segment on the iPlayer. If you're interested, click here.

I've also since looked him up online and this is his website.

Enjoy, fellow philistines.

Unfortunately Amy....

2009-10-22T11:14:00.003+01:00

I stumbled across a new blog today whilst in pursuit of an easy recipe for wholegrain muffins and this is that blog... thatbritishwoman.blogspot.com

She had posted a game whereby you type 'unfortunately' and then your name in brackets into google to see what comes up. By the very nature of sharing a name with Amy Winehouse, there were a few hits for me which made me laugh....

"Hubby May be Going Down - Unfortunately, Amy may be heading the same way" from this link

"Unfortunately, Amy and her friends misread the enlistment form and found out they couldn't stop Dr. Eggman unless they were ordered" from this link

"Unfortunately Amy was photographed sneaking out and jumping into a random passerby's car". from this link

Well, it's got to be more fun than working hasn't it?!

Fancy gym no. 2

2009-10-21T22:42:00.006+01:00

I ventured into fancy gym no. 2 today on my way home from work.

Anna was todays tour guide. Anna is lovely. Small and blonde, she made me feel a lot less insecure than me ol' mucker Seth (who, FYI keeps ringing me his amazing 24 hour only deals - I swear he's a flat cap and a Robin Reliant away from being Del Boy).

This unnamed health emporium boasted a plethora of CV machines, a ton of free and fixed resistance kit, a ridiculously long list of excitingly named, sweat inducing classes including core zone, TRX, Ab attack, Fast class (?), PUNCH and power plate. Plus tennis courts, a gorgeous swimming pool, aerobics, pilates, yoga, personal trainers etc. Also in tow, a jacuzzi, a steam room, a sauna and a wee shop for buying beauty supplies AND you can also drop in for a massage. Also, a coffee shop you can hang out in after your gruelling workout.

It's very close to work, easy and safe to get to and the place had a really good feeling about it. No word of a lie, I could live there. Easily.

There's just only one, teeny tiny flaw to my new life as a stress free, gym bunny hanging out with the elite. Wonga. Yes, dosh, cash, dough, legal tender. The salient fact of the matter is that I just can't justify spending, what I consider, to be an obscene amount of money, on a health club when I have a mortgage and all the trappings such as insurance and furniture to purchase.

We need to turn our garage into a gym. Pronto.

Do excuse me, I need to check out what deals Tesco have on treadmills......

The tables have turned

2009-10-18T17:40:00.003+01:00

Being proud new homeowners we are keen to show off our wee hooose to, well, everyone really.

Parents naturally get first dibs though and last weekend and this weekend we have had the in- laws and my parents (and pooches) respectively.

There's been much 'oooohing' (look at your lovely fireplace), 'wowing' (what a big garden you have) 'aaaaahing' (look at the lovely photographs) and 'mmmmming' (steak dinners we have cooked).

There's also been a lot of beaming from the two 'kids' who, I think, have now successfully persuaded their parents that we are actually grown ups. Well, almost.

When adverts go bad.

2009-10-16T20:50:00.005+01:00

Advertising at best can be both brilliant and inspirational. As a communication aid it can be used to persuade us to buy things we don't really want or need, get us to vote for unsuitable political parties or use services that may or may not be ultimately useful to the consumer.

Advertising can also be cool and iconic. The slogan, the brand, the image - they're all instantly recognisable by implementing clever advertising. Not a soul on the planet is ignorant as to what a can of Coca Cola looks like or the infamous golden arches of McDonald's (maybe that's a sweeping generalisation but you get the drift).

Even those darn PG Tips chimps are etched into the British consumers memory bank. As ethically challenging as it was, we still talk about it and therefore still talk about PG Tips tea.

With that said, how, on God's Green Earth, are we allowing ads like this to pollute the ether of the media?!

What a load of wink.

Finding a new gym

2009-10-15T21:24:00.003+01:00

Now that the new route to work is down pat and having spoken to a few of my fellow compadres I have found that there are a couple of fancy gyms on my route home from work.

Just the ticket as I find, and ohmygoshIcan'tbelieveIamgoingtosaythis, I miss the gym. Yes, you do not need to readjust your screens, I confess. I miss it. The curious thing is, I can't quite put my finger on why I miss it so. Is it my expanding mid section? Maybe. Is it the smell of sweat and the hum of crap dance toons?Definitely not. It's somewhere between the whirring, clunking sound of the groaning CV machines and the smug self righteous feeling I have as I step through the door. On the way out of course. I never feel smug walking into the gym. That would just be mental.

Anyhoo, I went for a wee nosey today around a fitness emporium, which is part of a chain and if I am to believe Seth, today's tour guide, it's the largest corporation for health and fitness in the world.

Seth, by the way, looked about 17, a right cockney geezer covered in tattoos and wouldn't look out of place in the one album wonder boy band, Busted. Nice enough guy but if he said "d'cha know what I mean though" one more time I would have cried real tears of acute frustration.

The gym itself is above a pub (it beggars belief) and in the middle of a high street. It's just a plain weird location. Despite this, the monthly rates were respectable with lots of extra bits thrown in like a few personal training sessions. It has a little weights room for women only, in case you felt a bit insecure by all the testosterone filling the room (which it certainly did tonight), t'is a nice idea. There's a big boxing room with a ring, bags, speed balls and alike, there are even boxing classes which sound really cool. Tons of group classes, free newspapers, free tea, coffee and soft drinks. Changing rooms were gorgeous (which is more important than you think). Staff all seemed nice enough and it seemed like a sociable place to be.

There was just one thing wrong with this place. Something I can't shake.

But for the life of me I can't figure out what it is.....

I'm going to see fancy gym number 2 next week. And this one is real fancy and probably well out of my price range, even after playing the I'm a student and I work in the NHS card but hey ho, let's give it a bash.

A three day Snot-a-thon is worth £50

2009-10-07T22:09:00.005+01:00

My father in law once said that the common cold typically lasts three days. So, going by that theory I should be fine by tomorrow. Somehow, I don't see it happening. When someone else has a cold and has the downright audacity to complain about it I do feel somewhat disgruntled, "it's a cold for crying out loud" I inwardly shriek to no-one in particular.

Totally different ball game when it's me though. I turn into a mess, a red nosed dribbly mess to be more precise. I wail and I moan about it like it's some kind of big deal. I mean, it's not like I have got swine flu is it? Or have I? Oh God.

My mum told me many years ago the difference between having a common cold and having flu is money. Imagine that there is a fifty pound note 10 metres away from your sick bed. It's all yours if you prize yourself out of bed and collect it. If you genuinely have flu, the money will sit there and taunt you like a whore in church as you'll be too poorly and just plain knackered to go and get it. Alternatively, should you manage to get up to collect the goods you are lucky enough to be inflicted with the common cold.

I could definitely tear myself out of bed for fifty quid so hopefully I'll be fine by tomorrow.

Mastering my Metabolism

2009-10-05T15:49:00.009+01:00

I have just purchased the Master your Metabolism book by the fabulous Jillian Michaels.

I think I am hoping that by virtue of making the purchase alone, I will reap the reward of becoming a healthy, toned goddess overnight. I concede that I may be kidding myself there.

I've casually flicked through the book and it looks like hard work. Reeeeeeally hard work, which I am sure pays off eventually but doesn't look like all that much fun.

However, the bits that I have read with regards to the endocrine system and more specifically, the thyroid make good sense so I am hoping that I'll understand it and therefore take a pro active approach about changing my diet.

The juries still out at the moment.

Slippers

2009-10-03T19:15:00.003+01:00

I think you can tell a lot about a person by the slippers they choose (or not) to wear.

I used to wear ridiculous slippers when I was younger. And by younger I mean, like, 19. Anything before then and I wouldn't have been seen dead with anything furry on my feet (unless the dog had fallen asleep on me - he was so heavy my legs went numb). Maybe this was because every year, without fail, we (the collective 'we' of Mum, Dad and I but always chosen by Mum) would give my Nanna slippers at Christmas. And they were always hideous. Nanna, of course, loved them, or gave a performance worthy of an academy award if she didn't. This somewhat tainted my view on what is an otherwise fabulous institution.

I've had all manner of indoor shoe wear from big, bright and fluffy (gayer than Elton John) to Little Miss Sunshine (of course given ironically) to something resembling a dogs face (don't ask and no, it didn't keep the dog off my feet).

These days, given the fact that I am approaching thirty and now have wooden floorboards I have opted for something more grown up and subdued. Not only are my latest slippers from M&S but they also have "secret support".

Bet you're jealous.

Nerding it up

2009-09-28T15:50:00.007+01:00

It's that time of year when students don their rucksacks and shine their shoes for another year of stimulating academia and yes, that includes me. Except my course is distance learning so I don't need a rucksack. Or shoes.

First, I feel I must explain. I am doing a part time, distance learning MSc in Oncology (cancer). I currently do my full time working week squeezed down into four days in order to give me one day a week at home to study. With this being part time and all it will take a minimum of 3 years and they allow me a maximum of 5 to complete the course. I have done one year so far and was hoping to finish up in a total of three by doing as many modules as humanly possible.

It's day one of year two and I am thinking that this may take me longer than three years given that I need to understand, by Jan 2010, the fundamental concepts and principles of cancer pathology, cancer pharmacology and diagnostic imaging in oncology and pass three exams to that effect.

Ever feel like you have bitten of more than you can chew?

To coin a phrase...

2009-09-27T20:15:00.004+01:00

I now know what the eloquent phrase "kick bollock busy' means.

I actually don't have time to explain why.

Abandoning healthy habits

2009-09-22T19:50:00.006+01:00

In the last couple of weeks I have been to Dominos pizza twice and KFC. I haven't been running or swimming and I have put on a few pounds. I feel like the proverbial poop and even a few of the wondrous Jillian Michaels podcasts can't seem to drag me out of this vegging out funk.

I don't know whether it's moving house and losing routine, not being able to reach my ex- wonderful gym or just that I'm having a hard time at work. Faaarrrk, life is busy at the minute. My MSc kicks back into life again next week propelling me further into a spiral of disarray and sleepless nights. I need to get this sorted out, pronto.

Rant over.

An existential observation that life is full of imperfections

2009-09-19T23:06:00.012+01:00

We moved in on Monday and were burgled the following Thursday night. The neighbours and local police have reported no previous criminal activity in the area, so by virtue of our arrival we have effectively doubled the local crime rate.

At least we know that the local police officer, scene of crime officer and locksmith are friendly people. Also, much kudos to the postman who found our discarded wallet (with all cards intact) and sent it special delivery back through our very door. A firm "up yours" to the inbred gypsy thieving pikey bastards.

"The robb'd that smiles, steals something from the thief"

William Shakespeare.

The dawn of a new era

2009-09-11T20:52:00.009+01:00

"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts." Arnold Bennett

Right now, I feel somewhat adrift. I'm not good with change. I never have been. It gives me a gurgly tummy and insomnia, which quite frankly never appeals. So, the thought of moving house (even though it is to our new house) feels, well, odd. We've been in this flat, in this sleepy part of London for 4 years and I like it. I'm comfortable. I know which bus routes takes forever to get to work and I know to just wait a couple of minutes before leaving the confines of the flat if I can hear our neighbours coming or going (they are lovely, wonderful people but my God can they rabbit on).

Very soon, I am going to have to learn new bus routes. New neighbours to potentially avoid. A new hairdresser. What if they cut my hair badly and charge me a mini fortune? A new dentist. A new doctor. What if I don't like the new surgery? A new tesco. I won't know where to find anything. What if I forget to tell someone really important that I have moved house? What if it takes me five hours to get to work?

What if? What if? What if?

So, why bother to move at all?

Well, the 'what if's' are floored by the single fact of the matter. We own this house. Technically, I guess the Royal Bank of Scotland owns the house but for all intents and purposes it belongs to us. We have two bedrooms. Two! That's a bedroom and an office. An office! I'll have my own shelves! I can colour code my MSc folders and Kris can label things. We have a garden. A garden! We can grow our own food. Not all of our intended consumption mind, I can't wait that long for a courgette but how flippin' amazing is it to pick food from your own garden and it eat it within the space of 10 minutes? We have a fireplace and bay windows. We have an unwanted cat flap and a toilet full of limescale but they are ours. I think this change will be worth it.

And, if the new hairdressers are crap I'll put up with a half hour bus journey to old, trusted and faithful Jeff. Because he's worth it.

A Running Rave Review

2009-09-04T22:02:00.009+01:00

Now then. I have never, ever written a review for a product. Ever. I admit that I'm the first to complain when service is awful (as Barclays Bank will verify) but I have never testified, in print, that I really like something on this 'ere interweb.

That will change right now.

I recently made the brave purchase of a new iPhone application called "Couch to 5K".

Now, there are three salient facts to remember here:

I hate running
I don't like buying iPhone applications (as there are hundreds of free ones)
I have two knee replacements

Those three points will probably leave the distinct impression that this particular app isn't designed for a consumer such as myself. However, in this previous post, I somewhat alluded to a crazy desire of wanting to run and it has taken all of four months to put this whim into practice.

So, I happened upon the "Couch to 5K" iPhone application and it seemed a reasonable program with great reviews. It was the princely sum of £1.79 (or maybe £1.19, either way it cost less than a pint).

It has a gentle introduction, alternating between jogging and walking for 20 minutes, 3 times a week. I can't run outside for love nor money, my fake knees won't allow it. I started having a wee tinkle on the treadmill about 18 months ago with crazy trainer Lisa and thoroughly enjoyed myself, with the caveat that I wear good running shoes and take it easy. So, I ventured to the gym on a lonely Saturday afternoon and tested this bad boy app out. I've now completed week one and I may not yet be skinny or all that fit but my knees don't hurt and I am rather enjoying myself. I dare say I'm even looking forward to starting week two.

If you're scared of running for whatever reason, just try it. I urge you. Please.

If you don't have an iPhone, click here for the weblink.

Anticipated Completion

2009-08-24T12:17:00.007+01:00

“Home ownership is an excellent path to build wealth.”

Tim Ellis

Over the past few weeks, I have come to realise just what an emotional and financial rollercoaster buying a property is. It's both thrilling and terrifying in equal measure but ultimately awesome.

We have been given a completion date of 7th September and the countdown starts here, as does the accumulation of cardboard boxes and also, I fear, the number of stubbed toes and loud expletives is about to be on the increase.

I feel everso grown up.

A hernia, a wedding and some waz

2009-08-22T21:12:00.009+01:00

So, off we went to a good friends wedding reception up in South Yorkshire last week. We opted for the motor car as a mode of transportation and as such was treated to, not one, but two, visual feasts as we left the safety of London.

The first being the British Hernia Centre. Now, please do not misunderstand me, I don't find hernias in the least bit amusing. I am sure they are mighty unpleasant but to have a centre dedicated to hernias alone seemed a little ostentatious to me.

However, what's more, upon researching said centre, I found the "award winning" website (click here) to be utterly adorable. The interactive page allows you to see what kind of hernia you might have! Who needs medics? Pah.

The home page even states, and I quote, "PS: It helps if you have a sense of humour!". The FAQ's are ruddy BRILLIANT!!!

Q. I'm pregnant, should I fix the hernia before the baby is born?

A. Probably not.

Q. My Family Doctor says: "If it doesn't hurt you, just leave it alone and see what happens." Is this really good advice?

A. We would not seek to contradict any doctor, but we are increasingly coming to the view that this can be very bad advice.

Anyhoo, so I claimed that there were two funny things. The second delight occurred about three and half minutes later when a small vehicle with "WAZ School of Motoring" emblazoned across it overtook us on the North Circular. Really? Waz? Is that the best name you can come up with? I am of course pronouncing it W-A-Z as opposed to the new "cool" way of using it instead of the traditional and no less cumbersome "WAS".

I can't even find a website which is more than one step behind the hernia guys.

The wedding reception was great fun and the couple looked blissfully happy particularly enriched in the safe knowledge that when they return to London from their luxurious honeymoon, there is a hernia centre waiting....just in case.

One man war on bad grammar

2009-08-18T19:04:00.011+01:00

“The greater part of the world's troubles are due to questions of grammar”

Michel de Montaigne

One of the wonderful things about technology of the 21st century is being able to read up to the minute, cutting edge news, via your portable telephone device upon London public transport.

I had the pleasure of reading this article on the ITN website and for once smiled rather than winced.

"A former soldier is waging a one-man war on poor use of the English language after picking up a paintbrush to correct the grammar on his own street's signs.

Stefan Gatward added an apostrophe to two of his "St Johns Close" signs so they read "St John's Close".

But his efforts to improve the punctuation on the signs in his cul-de-sac were greeted with mixed feelings, with some neighbours calling it vandalism.

Mr Gatward, 62, who served for four years with 1st Battalion, the Gordon Highlanders, said: "It niggled me for the 14 months I've lived here. I thought if it doesn't appear corrected before long, I'll paint the damn thing myself. I did it very neatly with a brush."

He added: "Are we in England fighting for our heritage or are we going to let it drop into the sea?"

This man is my new personal hero.

Why I love London.

2009-08-17T19:33:00.007+01:00

I was going through the usual 730am Monday mardy custard today, debating whether to actually walk the mile and a half or wait for a bus. I went with a begrudging walk and man am I glad I did.

As I perambulated past Westfield (Europe's largest shopping centre doncha know) a rather slick looking Mercedes pulled up next to me and who should get out to post a letter????

Your beardy friend and mine....

I wanted to say something cool and witty as he looked so damn jolly for such an ungodly hour but I didn't. Instead I panicked and squeaked "Moooorning" in a rather pathetic manner.

Why have a cake if I can't eat it?

2009-08-09T10:15:00.010+01:00

I just really like this picture.

These things that I have learnt

2009-08-02T20:10:00.015+01:00

It's August. August? August! For crying out loud.

I'm another year older and what have I discovered and learnt? Quite a lot actually.

1. Tim Minchin. I insist that you look him up on YouTube immediately. In fact, I'll even take the hard part out - click here for a taste.

2. Making jewellery is most relaxing and enjoyable.

3. I'm not nearly as wreckless with money as I thought I was.

4. By using a tiny brush to apply concealer it stays on much longer and gives far better coverage than using big clumsy fingers.

5. I've learnt and largely understood the process of the property ladder.

6. I can throw a mean right hook but only when I'm wearing pink boxing gloves.

7. Dr Ben Goldacre's blog; Bad Science. Have a peek. It's very good. Cuts the bullshit out of the reported 'science' by journo's and industry.

He also has a positive and vehement disregard for "Dr" Gillian McKeith "PhD" and if you read his book you'll soon understand why her doctorate has been put in speech marks to infer sarcasm.

8. Podcasts - as described in this post

9. Jillian Michaels - she was one of the trainers on the American TV show "The Biggest Loser".

Such an abhorrent name for a show aimed at the morbidly obese trying to lose weight.

Anyhoo, this woman is a teeny tiny American powerhouse, who, in the context of this dispicably named show, yells at people to work harder because she knows they can.

Her ultimate advice for weight loss? "Count your calories, work out when you can, and try to be good to yourself. All the rest is bullshit." This is why I like her and she is newly mounted on my own personal pedestal. She warrants a post all of her own.

10. I have learnt a thing or two from my MSc, none of which I can recall right now of course but enough information seeped into the grey matter to earn me a pass for my first year, and that's all that concerns me frankly.

I wonder what the age of 27 will bring? I know for certain that the next year will bring homeownership (we are in the exchanging contracts phase) and the possibility of being responsible for another little life. Hold yer horses, I'm talking about the canine variety. I can't wait.

The dangerous age of 27

2009-07-26T10:10:00.004+01:00

"Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." Larry Lorenzoni

I turned 27 last week.

Apparantly, also aged 27, Jimi Hendrix choked to death on his own vomit after ingesting wine and sleeping pills and Janis Joplin died of an overdose of whiskey and heroin.

I, however, enjoyed a bottle of organic lager and played with my new bath tub remote controlled duck.

Beady offerings

2009-07-15T17:06:00.002+01:00

A few things I have recently made;

Surely not applicable in this case

2009-07-15T16:38:00.003+01:00

Good news!

2009-07-12T12:17:00.010+01:00

The road works have ended at Gillette Corner on the A4!

There are again four - wonderful - drive-on-able - not blocked by silly orange cones - lanes. Life is good again.

Oh and on a parting note, can someone please tell Lady Ga Ga that fantastical is not a real word.

Although it probably should be.

Getting on the wrong bus isn't always a bad thing.

2009-07-01T20:43:00.021+01:00

The heat has descended people.

It started well but has now turned into an oppressive mugginess that my mum would only describe as "close". Circumstances have been ideal for such a climactic experience - the main reason being that we have had a week off work. Yes, a whole week and it has been fabulous. Or even glorious. Yes, I'd even stretch to glorious.

It started with a trip to the flat lands of Norfolk, consisting of a visit to the parents with live music provided by man and his compadres avec too much Becks Vier. We also had the delight of hand made sandwiches and home grown veggies courtesy of my mother in law. Subway could learn a thing or two from her I tell you.

Creativity is running amok in this house of late. I've discovered a lovely little bead shop in Twickenham which I have driven past numerous times but never really paid much attention to.

This alone has been fueling my jewellery making efforts. Whilst at home my mother, ever the dab hand with a needle, transformed a sundress that didn't fit me into a fabulous new summer skirt. Now, I have made a matching necklace and earring set from wooden beads. I need to stop there with this particular ensemble - it's already on the verge of looking "prim". I've also made a purple charm bracelet, which I am firmly patting myself on the back for. I'll put some piccies up when I pluck up the courage to display my offerings.

Now then. Hastings. We visited this week on the usually sound advice of my mother in law. However, I suspect we must have missed something. For some reason unbeknown to us both, Kris and I were expecting a beach of soft golden sand. It wasn't soft or golden. It was pebbly, rocky and altogether uncomfortable. Weather conditions were ideal for random middle aged men to indulge in kite surfing, which in itself was mildly impressive but had an edge of oddness about it. It's like when you see old people kissing on TV. There's part of you that thinks "aaaaaawwww" but then the other part is just plain grossed out by it.

In fairness to Hastings, we didn't do any of the historical touristy stuff, mainly because it wasn't easy to find and it was also too darn hot. I did notice that the other road users were courteous though, that's always a bonus in my book.

I've been boxing twice this week. Count 'em. T-W-I-C-E.

We have also caught up with friends this week. The first encounter ended up being a pub crawl around Twickenham. This was entirely unintentional but we were on the hunt for food. The first pub we encountered was lovely. On the riverside, sunny day, as you can imagine everyone else in Twickenham and the surrounding area thought it was lovely too. I didn't fancy eating a meal on my lap, sat on the grass. I'm messy at the best of times but at least give me a fighting chance. The next pub should be reprimanded for false advertising. After a very lengthy decision making process, we asked to order food at the very reasonable time of 830pm, to be told that the kitchen had closed. To add to my rage, I discovered the signs outside the pub read "food served all day between 12pm - 9pm". Livid. And a bit drunk as I had sunk two pints on an empty tummy. Now, the next pub explains the title of this post. You see. Jon definitely knew of somewhere that would definitely be serving food now. Definitely. We would just need to pop ourselves on any one of five buses that would take us there. As we drove down the length of the high street and made a left hand turn Jon's face alone revealed that the plan hadn't been executed entirely correctly. He 'fessed up that he had picked the wrong bus but he knew of somewhere else enroute that also served food and was very good. He was not wrong. I had fish and chips. The fish came, not on a plate, but on a wooden board. The chips came, not on a plate or a wooden board, but in a metal bucket. The minted mushy peas came in an 'ickle pot. Oh my goodness me, it was absolutely delicious.

I'm pleased we got on the wrong bus.

Bell ringing in the proverbial sense.

2009-06-26T21:40:00.006+01:00

Indeed - some bits and bobbeth I am currently enjoying:

Podcasts - now it is long established that I'm not the sharpest tool in the box when it comes to all things technological but given that I have an iPhone and I am able to use iTunes with minimal supervision it has amazed me how I have only just discovered the audible feast of podcasts. I mean, HELLO!, they're free! I am shaking my head with disgust but hey ho, at least I am missing them no more.

I am particularly enjoying the Adam and Joe podcasts. Silly silly boys. I encourage you to join in the mayhem.

I have been making some little pieces of jewellery recently. Nothing blingy or fancy but I am getting a slight kick out of creating something and being able to wear it.

Mary Portas (below) is my new hero. She rawks dude. She kicks retail ass.

Self righteous guff

2009-06-26T20:44:00.004+01:00

I'm feeling more than a little smug at the moment as I am still on my weekly "just been punching the crap out of a big bag 'o' sand" high. It's wonderful. I ache all over, I feel like I earned my dinner tonight. Now, how do I bottle this? And more to the point, why does this feeling disappear so quickly?

Every time I drive away from a boxing session I think to myself, "I need to pull my finger out and do that more often", but I never do. Why is that? WHY?

I wish I could kick my own unmotivated arse sometimes.

The murky world of mortgages

2009-06-25T21:13:00.008+01:00

Operation house buying is a go-go. I repeat. A go go people.

All I'll say is that we have made an offer that has been accepted and we are now proceeding with mortgage applications - or more to the point, a man called Phil is doing the paper pushing and telephone chasing on our behalf.

If I continue to discuss this, verbally or otherwise, I get far too excited and considering it isn't officially ours yet I don't want to end up in a puddle of mascara tainted tears if it all turns to shite.

So, I'll leave it there.

A week of wonder

2009-06-24T22:19:00.006+01:00

It's Monday. Bleurgh. Double bleurgh as I woke up convinced it was still the weekend.

I'm writing this at 814am at work but due to the restrictions of all things fun on NHS computers I'll have to upload it to the blog later today, when I get home and that. However, due to a miscommunication and a small hissy fit - it is actually now Wednesday evening and this is only just being uploaded. However, please pretend that it is still Monday 22nd June 2009.

So, a cool week has been had.

The weekend brought much delight in the form of bricks and mortor. We found an 'ickle house that we both like, in an area we both like, with a journey to work we both like, at a price that only makes us vomit slightly into our own hands. In all honesty, I love this house and am trying to be very sensible and level headed about the whole thing as we have realised that SO many things can go wrong with this process and it could be snatched away from us at any minute. We're going back for a second viewing on Wednesday, where we shall take a tape measure and make sure that our pretend furniture can fit in.....

We went to sunny Brighton yesterday for a family meal at Jamie Olivers gaff. It was pleasant, the food was nice (Squid for starters and Pumpkin & Ricotta Ravioli since you asked) the atmosphere appealing - unpretentious which is what I like. I must say that I wasn't particularly blown away - I thought I would be given that it is a celebrity chefs restaurant. We also visited Jamie Olivers shop called 'Recipease' - you see what he's done there? Clever boy. Now, this shop is pretentious. £15 for a candle in a terracotta pot. You can whistle for it mate. Pukka.

A conclusion drawn many years ago by so many women. Dieting sucks. And blows. A double whammy. I have eaten a lot to make me gain weight this week - the peanut butter and chocolate icecream with the peanut butter and chocolate rice krispie base that I made (damn you Phil Vickery) - probably didn't aid in the fat fighting this week. Coupled with the still distinct lack of exercise, have been boxing but nada else. Zip. Nowt. Nada. Bugger all. Actually, in all honesty, I think a two pound gain is getting off quite lightly.

Anyhoo, ta-ra for now.

3's about me

2009-06-24T21:08:00.003+01:00

Three

...names I go by:
1. Amy

2. Frances
3. Ford

...jobs I have had in my life:
1. Clinical Trials Co-ordinator

2. The strop-monster
3. Queen Bee

...places I've lived:
1. Isleworth
2. King's Lynn

3. The edge of reality

...shows that I watch
1. E.R.
2. Home & Away

3. Recently became obsessed with "Mary, Queen of Charity Shops"

...places I have been
1. My bathroom
2. Asda

3. Amsterdam

...people who e-mail me regularly
1. Donna
2. The mothership
3. Nut jobs at work & other such colleagues

...of my favourite foods
1. Toasted bagels with cream cheese and jam (trust me on that one)
2. Sloppy Joes a la Kris
3. It might be easier to list foods I don't like....

...friends I think will respond:
1. Maybe Donna
2. Yup, that's it.
3.

...things I am looking forward to:
1. Being a homeowner
2. Finishing my MSc
3. Owning a dog somewhere between point number 1 and point number 2

Head trauma

2009-06-15T19:20:00.001+01:00

Today I saw a man get his head stuck between the doors of the 237 to Shepherds Bush.

True Story.

Thought for the day.

2009-06-14T18:43:00.000+01:00

A coin worth 99 English pennies.

Now, there's a thought.

Randomberry

2009-06-12T20:41:00.007+01:00

It's 10pm on a Friday night. I'm 26, eating porridge with yoghurt, watching SuperNanny in my pyjamas and I couldn't be happier.

So, in a previous blog I mentioned the wonderful job. I was offered an interview but declined to go after a chat with the boss. Long story short, I'm better off where I am for a couple of years. The wonderful job in all it's wonderance wonder will come up again, hopefully at a time when I have finished my MSc and am not looking to buy a house. Speaking of my MSc, have finished the first year already! Ohmygoodnessgraciousme that time has gone so fast. I now have until Sept to "sort myself out" and by that I mean drop a few pounds, get some new clothes and sort me face oot.

The last one is being helped by a new obsession with youtube makeup tutorials....I know, I know. I can already feel you judging me. There's these two sisters who are very American, ridiculously young and gorgeous and know everything and I mean EVERYTHING about makeup! I'm unashamedly hooked. My Benefit obsession has been switched back on which is worrysome for my wallet.

So what else is new? Well, we found a farmers organic market in Hampton. Wait, I'll start that one again. We discovered Hampton first off. A lovely little place just the other side of Twickenham - thats the cool thing about house hunting - we are finding all these little nooks and crannys that are just gold. You also need a lot of gold to live in Hampton, either that or a rich elderly parent. So, we found this farmers market place, check out the cow. I am now enjoying the "freedom organic lager" which has a "golden caramel taste'. It sounds like pretentious old piffle but actuuuuuually is rather pleasant, much more civilised that the eight pints of wife beater I used to drink in my youth. I've misplaced my youth, have you seen it? It'll be hiding somewhere alongside a bag of confidence and a pinch of reality.

La la la x

My God, I am bad at keeping this updated

2009-05-26T21:05:00.003+01:00

It's been a busy time. It really has. No, seriously. It's funny how we, or more specifically, I do that.

I'll lose weight as soon as I have handed these essays in - that's the latest one. I genuinely believe that as of Friday 29th May I will be free from the binding torrent of work that is a masters. Everything else will still be going on however. Life does that.

I haven't been near a treadmill. Or the gym. In my defence it has been a crazy old few weeks.

I'll stop making excuses now and get on with some fecking work.

Rant

2009-05-09T18:17:00.003+01:00

So, I have been sat here since 9am trying to do a literature review for the bloody MSc which lets face it I am never going to finish. End of.

Other goings on

2009-05-03T20:42:00.006+01:00

I've been lazy on the blog front, apologies peeps. A quick round up of the last two weeks.

I applied for the aforementioned wonderful job. Now, I have the long wait until May 22nd and beyond to find out if I have an interview
Swine flu has broken out. Bloody inconsiderate if you ask me but very good for those drug companies who have made the potential cure for it and are now cashing in. Catch it. Bin it. Kill it. Make a small fortune.
Started eating the "GI way". High fibre and low fat. Going OK so far.
I want to start running. I'm too scared to say it out loud. I couldn't be more in awe of those guys who ran the marathon. I never want to run a marathon EVER, you must understand, but I think a bit of gentle jogging may help to shift these pounds I seem to be clinging onto, especially as the boxing will have to temporarily cease due to financial constraints. I'll start with a wee jog in the gym. I will. I promise.
Got some free shea body butter with this week issue of Marie Claire. It's nice. The free gift may have worked in terms of me going to the body shop and buying an overpriced full size tub of it
Had tapas in Brighton on Good Friday. It was nice. I'm sure Jesus would have approved.
My friend Clare visited and we saw Alexander Armstong while we were on the bus. Clare had a small stroke. My small stroke came when I was at a work farewell party and Professor Robert Winston was also in attendance and made a speech. I was this close, *forefinger and thumb very close together*, to hysteria.

At least I make myself laugh.

2009-04-16T17:18:00.002+01:00

I was rifling through some e-mails from back in the day when I had far too much time on my hands, demonstrated by the ridiculous number of quizzes I completed which were largely sent to me by my very good and equally bored friend Gemma.

I found myself chuckling and snorting my way through them and feel I should share some of my very own comedy gold moments

Never in my life have I.....
eaten buffalo - I have eaten buffalo wings but as Jessica Simpson once so shrewdly pointed out "Buffalo don't have wings"

If you visited the place I was born...
You would now be stood in a nursing home - the Bakercroft maternity unit in Cleethorpes is now home to a different generation of those who poo themselves and scream

What books are you reading?
'Body language' by Allen and Barbara Pease. Does what it says on the cover. But you can't judge a book by it's cover. But you can if you know which signs to look for.

The last time I cried was because.......

my boyfriend was leaving for 6 weeks and I don't know how to read the electricity meter

Who is the last person who made you cry?
Kris for coming back from Qatar after 6 weeks

Excited!

2009-04-16T17:03:00.003+01:00

I am soooo excited I could pee my pants. I really could.

Admittedly, with a little help, I have found a fabulous job that I am itching to apply for. You know when you see it advertised and you think "yes! I can do this! I can actually really do it!" It's that one. The one that you know will make your life fabulous. I'll suddenly be thin and want to spend my evenings either working on my MSc or in the gym. Motivation and inspiration hits me like a thunderbolt. My car will never break down again and I won't get wrinkles.

That job.

I'll keep you posted.

Addicted....

2009-04-15T21:48:00.005+01:00

....to muesli.

There, I said it. I'm an addict. My name's Amy and I'm addicted to muesli.

The nuts, the oats, the wholegrains, the berries that make the milk go as red as a schoolboy caught with his first dirty magazine. I even like saying it. Muesli. Muuuuesli. Muuuuesliiiiiii.

I guess there are worse things to enjoy of an evening but a love of muesli comes with one fairly smelly drawback. The flatus. 'Nuff said.

Best restaurant name....ever!

2009-04-11T10:02:00.002+01:00

Hands down, the best restaurant name I have ever seen.